I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize