But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
