SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You smell like stripper and shame
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize