Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
