I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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