she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
