ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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