You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
