I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
