if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
