the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
