Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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