Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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