brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
