Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
