wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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