I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
he's gonorrhea incarnate
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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