I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Randomize
