There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
