is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
