She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize