never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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