Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
