Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
