soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
