Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
foreskin is a definite game changer
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
