I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
