Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize