I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize