Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
