the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
