after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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