ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
