Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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