whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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