He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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