I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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