This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
