Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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