ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
