Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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