My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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