The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
