dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
