I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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