i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
