Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
