My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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