u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
