yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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