Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
