I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
