Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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