playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize