So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
