Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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