Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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