Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
