so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
