chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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