You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
