It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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