Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
