I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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